If you had purchased $1000 in shares of Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49 today. If you had purchased $1000 in shares of AIG one year ago, you would have $33 today.

If you had purchased $1000 in shares of Lehman brothers one year ago, you would have $0 today. But If you had purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received $214. Based on the info provided, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily and recycle. It is called the 401(keg).

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!

- Suggested by Randy Gale